I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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