They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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