it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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