There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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