Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
