Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
