ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
