I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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