The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
