yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
