And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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