I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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