and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
