I don't usually arrange sex via text message
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
