My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
