Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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