do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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