you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
