You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
