I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
