I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
