I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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