is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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