You're completely useless in the revolution.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
