i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
