Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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