did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
