we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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