i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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