Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
