You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize