I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
