Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
