My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize