Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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