dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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