The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
