Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
