took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
