seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
These tits shall not be calmed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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