it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
