I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
