don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
