is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
