Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
