Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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