i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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