Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Everything about him screamed your future.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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