i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
