so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize