I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The struggles of a small town man whore
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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