So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We left the knife in your bed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
