is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
please come you make the beer taste better
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
