Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
