I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
