what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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