id be glad to
Soap is not a condiment
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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