Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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