Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
