I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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