I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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