it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
