Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Damn victory sex feels great
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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