My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
