Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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