I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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