like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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