Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
