How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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