There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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